I had an interesting e-conversation over in the comments at Booker regarding the potential ban on sagging pants in Atlanta. Now as many of y’all know, I used to sag my pants. Hawrd. Relentlessly. Ridiculously. I did it for at least 10 years, maybe closer to 12 or 13, so I know what I’m talmbout when it comes to this. That’s not to say that anybody else doesn’t know, but I can talk about what I know from my own experience. Like the song says, “some could tell my story, but who could tell it better?”

Now, here’s the thing: years and years hence, we can diagnose and identify the source of said style as “prison culture” or “thug culture” (interestingly, the first person I heard make this charge was Jesse Jackson, back in, like, 96. So here again is one of those ‘in-house’ discussions Dark Star’s always talking about that always happen in the forest of the Black press). Back in 91, though? As far as I knew, nobody knew where it came from; I certainly didn’t. Now, let’s get the thing straight: I’m not a thug. I wasn’t then. I wasn’t trying to be a thug. I had no connection to the thug lifestyle. When I was in high school, I cared about my vocabulary, wrestling, and girls. Different orders at different times, but that pretty much summed me up. So again, when I started sagging, I didn’t do it to relate to any type of thugism. I just did it because it was the style. What’s more, it was kinda cutting-edge; everybody wasn’t really doin’ it like that. Just a few of us. It caught on pretty quickly, but that was it. The thing is, I don’t know that any of us, at least the people I hung with, really identified that as something thuggish, because you hafta remember, at that time, “thug” wasn’t a word with which you really wanted to self-define.

As a parallel, you can look at the mighty, mighty Afro. Back in the day, there were people who wore their Afros as a symbolic representation of the idea(l) that Black is beautiful. And then there were people who wore it because it was the style. I don’t have any numbers, but my guess is that the number of people who wore it for the style is greater than the number of people who wore it for the social significance, although the fact that the style had social significance is in itself important. At any rate, I think one of the ways to tell is by looking at the speed with which the Afro was abandoned in place of other hairstyles, specifically the jheri curl. If all those people were all that Afro-centric, the jheri curl would never have taken off the way it did. But it wasn’t about Black is Beautiful, it was about a style. When the ‘fro went out of style, most people stopped wearin’ em. Not everybody, but enough. I’m sayin’ - I got an album where Lou Rawls has a jheri curl, and Lord knows he ain’t need no PARTS of such foolishness, but it was the style.

So back to saggin, the one thing that is curious to me is the amount of time that saggin as a style artifact has held on. I can’t think of too many subcultural artifacts that have lasted for over 20 years in the same way. Maybe the use of words like “cool,” and the daily wearing of “cool’s” fashion counterpart, blue jeans. Other than that? I’m hard pressed. So is sagging here to stay? I can’t call it. One thing I know from my own experience is that it’s not necessarily a permanent impediment.

The formula is this: fashion is a function of a person’s intellectual (developmental), and social state. Me personally, I can remember several articles of clothing that I bought that were transitions from one devlopmental point to another. Stuff I wear now I would never have worn when I was 25. It wasn’t gonna jump off with me in a blazer and a sweater vest. Back then, I thought that was the uniform of the uptight. But I’m older now. That’s what happens. Unless a person stays at the same level of development, their wardrobe is gonna diversify as they get older.

So as I have stated on many instances, for the most part, I’m not a prescriptivist. When it comes to most choices people can make, I’m more about describing the possible outcomes and letting them choose for themselves. Except in the case of being able to code switch. As much as I use AAVE and respect its use, I don’t believe in people stranding themselves on that linguistic island. Nor do I believe in people stranding themselves on the island of “ghetto” fashion. There’s a time and place for everything. It says so in the Bible. There’s a time to dress casually, whatever definition casual has in a given social set. There’s also a time to dress according to the norms of the larger community. One of my pet peeves is kids who get to me and don’t know how to tie a tie, much less wear one. But again, style a dress is partially a social function; if the kids don’t know anybody who wears a suit and tie, who’s gonna teach em?

That’s where I come in.

You know what? I think we got sidetracked. THe fight was supposed to be about the right to integrate, not necessarily the act of integrating. Well actually, the fight WAS about the right, and in order to affirm the validity of the legal right, it was necessary to physically integrate. However, somewhere along the line, it seems that physical integration became the goal instead of the measurement of the maintainence of the law. That’s where we fell off. Proximity to other groups is not necessarily better, it’s just different. Systematic exclusion of a group is, and should be against the law. However, I don’t know that exposure to another group should be any kind of a proxy for quality of life.

So if Bill Cosby changes the style of his critique, but not the message…and the people respond…does it mean that the Black middle class really hasn’t lost its mind?

From the same article, this is gonna be the last word you hear here about M. Vick.

Apparently, if the Michael Vick case is any indication, you have to be a dog to get anyone to care. If you want jail time, kill a dog.

But black folks? Nobody seems to care that they are being killed every day. There’s no outrage from our public officials, not from our residents, not even from the disproportionate number of African American men the violence affects.

“I literally cry out every day [about] the idea of black men dying being normal and not even noteworthy,” says Marc Lamont Hill, professor of urban education at Temple. “What [Cosby] has done is model the type of outrage we’re supposed to have.”

Cornel West on “nigga” and the difference between -a and -er:

“There is a rhythmic seduction with the word,” West says. “If you want to say ‘cat’ or ‘companion’ or ‘comrade,’ that doesn’t have the same rhythmic resonance as the word ‘nigga’ . . . The rhythmic seduction goes hand in hand with how black people use language . . . you’re just not going to get folks to stop using words like that. It just ain’t gon’ happen. The question is, when these young people use ‘nigga’ with an ‘a,’ are there elements of self-hatred—dishonoring each other, disrespecting, distrusting each other, which is part of the history of the word with an ‘-er’? It’s really about, “Show me the love and the respect and the honor and the dignity, and you can basically use any word you want.” But if I see these young folk using nigga with an ‘a,’ and they still disrespecting one another, dishonoring one another, mistreating one another, and player-hating one another—then I know the effect of the ‘er’ word is still operating in the ‘a’ word.”

I’m still not sure how I feel about the Eagles cutting Trotter. On the one hand, yeah, his production was decreasing, but is he completely washed up? Now I ain’t gon’ lie, generally speaking when the Eagles let somebody go, they don’t come back and start beasting. Having said that, for some reason, I just don’t like this move.

Remember this?

Well today’s the day. Coming soon to a teacher near you: The Perfecto.

It Ain’t No Use - Stevie Wonder
On My Own - Michael McDonald, f. Patti Labelle
Welcome - Maxwell
No Sittin’ By The Phone - Vivian Green
One Step Ahead - Aretha Franklin
Good Mourning - India Arie
Act 1 Scene 4, The Masquerade Is Over - David Porter
Walk On By - Isaac Hayes
I’m Going Down - Rose Royce
Good Morning Heartache - Ol’ Dirty Bastard
Green Eyes - Erykah Badu
Ain’t No Sunshine - Bill Withers
Maybe Tomorrow - Jackson 5
Burn Rubber - GAP Band
I Refuse To Smile - Mandrill
Goodbye My Love - James Brown
Superwoman (Where Were You When I Needed You) - Stevie Wonder
Vanishing - Mariah Carey
Lovesick - Gang Starr
She’s Out of My Life - Michael Jackson

So now the NAACP is weighing in on the Mike Vick situation.

ATLANTA — An NAACP leader said Michael Vick should be allowed to return to the NFL, preferably the Atlanta Falcons, after serving his sentence for his role in a dogfighting operation.

“As a society, we should aid in his rehabilitation and welcome a new Michael Vick back into the community without a permanent loss of his career in football,” said R.L. White, president of the NAACP’s Atlanta chapter. “We further ask the NFL, Falcons, and the sponsors not to permanently ban Mr. Vick from his ability to bring hours of enjoyment to fans all over this country.”

While I do agree that as a society we should “aid in his rehabilitiation,” whatever that really means, I think this is way off base. First of all, being a professional athlete is not a right, it is a privilege. Depending on how long he stays in the pokey, he might be able to come back and play football, he might not. There’s no way to know for sure until that time is up. But in either case, it makes no sense to act like there’s some need to intercede on Vick’s behalf. If it comes down to it and some owner or general manager thinks Vick can still play, and that he can help his team win, they will give him a call. Period.

What’s a lot more interesting to me is the comments on ESPN’s website. So many internet-tough people I have never seen in my life. As is par for the course, they all hide behind pseudonyms and call everybody “stupid” and “idiot” and act like they can kick everybody’s butt. But it’s over the internet, so of course they’re tough. Anybody can be tough anonymously. I mean, a lot of the talk there has racist overtones, but I’m struck by the general lack of civility. I guess I really shouldn’t be, though. That’s where we live now.

Controversy drives ratings. It’s been the same routine since it started on the McNeil -Lehrer Report way back in the day, but at least then there was some semblance of conversation. Once Crossfire jumped off, it was a wrap. Even news talk shows became the political version of Jerry Springer. All of a sudden, there was no longer any room for nuanced discussion; no room to re-think or adjust a position. It’s just about being louder and maybe…MAYBE pulling off the best one-liner. For all that, I could just watch my kids jone on each other.

The one thing I know, everyone respects the true person and everyone’s not true with themselves. All of these people who are heroes, these guys who have been lily white and clean all their lives, if they went through what I went through, they would commit suicide. They don’t have the heart that I have. I’ve lived places they can’t defecate in.

With the advent of the start of the school year, it’s time to get back to basics. In my opinion, there’s nothing more basic than treating the students with respect. F’real-f’real, most of the “disrespect” I’m thinking doesn’t happen from up close, it’s from afar. It comes in when people use arbitrary measures like test scores as indicators of anything but a child’s proficiency in a given subject (or in the practice of taking the test in that subject). See me, I probably get more upset than a whole lotta people about low test scores, because it affects me in multiple ways. I can handle things that are directed at me, but the kids? And believe me, I’ve got my own set of complaints about them, but I think it’s important to realize that where a person is at a given point in time is very much a function of where they’ve been. Hence the Tyson quote.

Many times, we as people make value judgments about other people without really considering the obstacles that they may have had to face to get to that point. So like Tyson says, many times the people who have the luxury of judging other people do so because they have not had the poverty of that person’s experience. While I think it’s legitimate to tell myself, ‘I wouldn’t have done the things that would have put me into that situation,’ (Mike Vick, I’m lookin’ at you) I think it’s also necessary to consider the opposite as well; if I had been born into his situation, would I be doing as well as he?

So there are some cases where a kid can’t do math; maybe he’s going into 9th grade and can’t multiply 7*8 regularly. Do I think that’s a travesty? Absolutely. I also know that there might be a story behind that inability. Unfortunately, in lots of cases, the stuff we teach at school is way low in the order of importance. And math, the example I normally use, is essential. But when we back it up to stuff like grammar, which is important, but not necessary for survival, school stuff really takes a back seat.

All that’s to say that I’m perfectly comfortable with looking at the results kids produce. But let’s not confuse the numbers with the kids. Let’s recognize that behind all of it, there are people, many of whom need help with more than just academics.

Leftism should be about the people. That’s how it began. Instead, what it has become in the last 20 years is a white upper-middle-class elitism which preaches to the people and says, “Oh, you don’t agree with us? You’re homophobic, you’re so uneducated. You’re in the darkness. You need us to bring light and truth to you.” I hate that paternalistic, condescending kind of stuff that’s coming out of this lawyer-heavy elite structure of the Democratic Party in Washington.

Bam!

I wasn’t really sure whether this meant a song for a fight with the antagonist or as fight with the ole S.O., so I’m including some for both.

New World Symphony, Mvt. 3 - Dvorak
We Will Rock You - Queen
Going The Distance - Bill Conti
That’s A Lie - LL Cool J
Dumb Girl - Run-DMC
Roses - Outkast
Jump Bad - Joe Tex
If You Don’t Know Me By Now - Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes
Final Count of the Confrontation Between Us and the Damned - Public Enemy
Ride of the Valkryies - Wagner
The White Sheet - Scarface
Brawlin’ Broads - Roy Ayers
Buck Whylin’ - Terminator X
My Ex-Girlfriend - Tony Toni Tone
Ante Up (Remix) - M.O.P., f. Busta Rhymes and Lady Luck

I guess “stop snitchin’” is an East Coast thing, because apparently Mike Vick’s boys have never heard of it. Thing is, and I obviously don’t know a thing, my gut instinct tells me that while they’re all copping pleas, they’re doing a lot more pleading than copping. All of a sudden, Vick’s now the hands-on executioner? All this really goes to show me is that you just don’t know people. We, the public, don’t know celebrities and athletes; just because they have some talent that brings their image into our homes on a regular basis, it doesn’t mean that they’re good people. They’re just people who are good at something. Similarly, you never know what the people around you will do when it gets thick. You wanna believe they’d have your back, but you never know for sure until it’s too late.

And understand what I’m saying - I’m not suggesting that Vick’s boys should have clammed up and impeded the investigation, but I’m thinking that they may be getting some real sweetheart deals to turn on Vick, in order to secure a prosecution. Maybe I’m wrong and he did everything they said and some more besides, but for whatever reason, I’m thinking that once it got a little too thick, the offers sounded a little too good and Mike just came up short.

I hope AI is watching all this.

Diversity ain’t necessarily all that diverse. But I think we kinda knew that, though. Take a look inside of a school lunchroom and you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. Which doesn’t necessarily mean that racial diversity is not a good end, but I don’t know that it’s actually a worthy goal. At best, I think it’s an externality of shared values and experience. I don’t think it’s something that can be manufactured, though.

Top Excuses I’ve Heard At Football Practice This Week

- I was late because my mother had company and I had to wait for them to get out of the shower. (soooo….you were late to practice, where you’re gonna sweat and get funky because you couldn’t take a shower?)

- My mother didn’t want me to come to practice because I have blisters on my feet

- I hafta pick up some movies from my sister.

and the king of them all…

- I went to go buy Madden.

(speaking of which, I don’t know whether I’m gonna buy Madden this year. I’ve heard that gameplay is a lot more realisic, which means harder. I don’t know about y’all, but I don’t play for a challenge, I play for relaxation. When I play Madden - which hasn’t been for quite a while, mind you - it’s for some mindless relaxation. Not to be challenged. So naw. I’m cool. Until I play somebody’s game. Then I’ll probably wind up coppin’ anyway.)

Love Having You Around - Stevie Wonder
Love and Happiness - Al Green
Electric Relaxation (vocal and instrumental) - A Tribe Called Quest
Give Me Your Love - Curtis Mayfield
Love No Limit - Mary J. Blige
You Take My Heart Away - Bill Conti
(You’re A Fish And I’m A) Water Sign - Parliament
One Thing - Amerie
Love Rears Its Ugly Head - Living Colour
Halfcrazy - Musiq Soulchild
Everybody Is A Star - Sly & The Family Stone
How Deep Is Your Love - The Bee-Gees
Beauty - Dru Hill
Could It Be I’m Falling In Love - The Spinners
Sweet Lorraine - Nat King Cole
I Wanna Get Next To You - Rose Royce
I’ll Never Do You Wrong - Joe Tex
Joy - Isaac Hayes
She’s The One - James Brown

Thinking about the whole quote-unquote issue from the other day, I’m brought back to what I think is the most crystalline example of the sportswriter-and-by-extension-general-public thinking he’s smarter than the athlete, Mike Tyson. Make no mistake about it, Mike was destructive, both to himself and to those around him. Certainly, I don’t think there can be any argument that he did stupid things. Whether he was personally stupid is certainly debatable. However, one caricature of Mike that doesn’t actually stick upon close examination is that he was linguistically stupid. Mike used words effectively. Many times people tried to clown Mike, like he was that over-vocabulistic fool on In Living Color, but that wasn’t the case at all. Let’s check out some of these quotes, looking at both the syntax and the semantics.

“One morning I woke up and found my favorite pigeon, Julius, had died. I was devastated and was gonna use his crate as my stickball bat to honor him. I left the crate on my stoop and went in to get something and I returned to see the sanitation man put the crate into the crusher. I rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right hand he was out cold, convulsing on the floor like an infantile retard.”

Seriously. What’s wrong with that? Not the part about knocking out the garbage man, but the linguistics of it? Perfectly fine. A ‘titantic’ right hand? A little unconventinal, maybe, but it makes sense. But the phrase, ‘convulsing on the floor like an infantile retard?’ While it’s certainly politically incorrect, it’s linguistically correct, and moreover quite picturesque.

On to the next pair.

“How dare these boxers challenge me with their primitive skills? It makes me angry. They’re just as good as dead.”

“My power is discombobulatingly devastating I could feel is muscle tissues collapse under my force. It’s ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm.”

Again, while the word choice may seem amusing, especially the quasi word, ‘discombobulatingly,’ technically speaking, there’s nothing wrong with what he said. The only thing is that we get it via writers, who, because they don’t take what Tyson says seriously, couch it within the text in such a way that it makes the reader take it less-seriously as well. That tendency is a tragedy, though, because over the years, Tyson has said some fairly profound things.

I never saw my mother happy with me and proud of me for doing something: She only knew me as being a wild kid running the streets, coming home with new clothes that she knew I didn’t pay for. I never got a chance to talk to her or know about her. Professionally, it has no effect, but it’s crushing emotionally and personally.

But that one’s pretty straightforward. Let’s talk about this next one a little bit. Today we’re gonna handle it on the linguistic tip, but sooner than later, we’re gonna talk about the actual content.

The one thing I know, everyone respects the true person and everyone’s not true with themselves. All of these people who are heroes, these guys who have been lily white and clean all their lives, if they went through what I went through, they would commit suicide. They don’t have the heart that I have. I’ve lived places they can’t defecate in.

Now why is it people think Mike Tyson can’t speak? Why is it that we have this impression that he’s an idiot linguistically? Because looking at the quotes I’ve presented so far, I can’t see it. I see some unorthodox vocabulary, but nothing that’s particularly wrong. The words may not be the most correct choices, but they work effectively. But I can’t front. I have the perfect quote that explains it.

I guess I’m gonna fade into Bolivian.

Hardy-har-har, right? Bolivian? What the heck is he talkin about? He must be reeealllly stoopit!! Only thing is, while it looks funny in print, Bolivian is a simple interpolation away from ‘oblivion,’ which would make perfect sense. And if you consider that he was just finishing a fight in which he had gotten demolished, I don’t think it should be all that surprising that he mispronounced a four-syllable word. Like nobody else ever stumbles over words, even when they haven’t been beaten about the head.

Is Mike Tyson crazy? Maybe. He certainly didn’t make the best choices with his money (although I’d have a hard time believing that a certain promoter didn’t have anything to do with that). He also didn’t make good choices in terms of his behavior. Linguistically, though? He was on point.