As most of you all reading this know, this is Stereo 3.0. Stereo 1, which I affectionately refer to as Solid State, was my spot at Blogger from a couple years ago. Stereo 2, or High Fidelity, was when my government was my domain name. (That joint’s still out there somewhere, and there’s a little toggle that I’m overlooking. I know that’s all it is.) And now here we are at Stereo 3, which I guess I’ll call Ave Digital. At any rate, as I was looking back through Solid State, I saw that I had some relatively new comments for some relatively old posts. One comment in particular was particularly thought-provoking, so I wanna get at that for a couple minutes.
In response to my post on misogyny in hip-hop, a reader wrote
You may claim that not [all] women is a bitch, hoe or chickenhead, but that’s bullshit. Once this thinking sets in and men believe they have a right to call women by these names, it becomes clear to me that all women are bitches and hoes in their eyes until proven otherwise, and who the hell are they to judge and categorize women, it all goes back to male (sic) privilege once again.
Now the idea that people set fixed categories is interesting to me, but I think that there are several levels at which this concept can be discussed. First of all, I think that all people categorize others and believe in their own system of categorization until proven otherwise. That’s not necessarily to defend what’s going on in this case, but it is to say that categorization and definition are neither unique to nor the exclusive property of those who we might call “privileged.” The ability to “do” something with the label is a little different, but in the case of this particular phenomenon, I would say that the actual kinetic enegry is a lot less than seems. Second, I think that the idea that once a person labels some women as “bitches, hoes, chickenheads,” etc. he labels all women as that is false, even on its face. Here’s what I noted in the original joint:
Now, I can say from personal experience that gold-digers, hoes, and chickenheads do, in fact, exist. But it’s not a question of whether or not there’s any veracity to what the rappers are saying, it’s a question of the accuracy. Dres of the Black Sheep once wrote, “I talk about a ho/ because a ho I know/ and if you knew the honeys too/ then I guess too you would talk so.” Only thing is, all women aren’t hoes. If you listen to the “definition” records, the rappers even make sure to point out this fact, and delineate the difference between a “bitch” and a “sister” or a “queen” or a “lady.”
Or to quote Common, “naw that ain’t nothin’ I would call my mother/ nor do I call every nigga my brother.” Okay, see first there’s the level one, obvious fact that for the overwhelming majority of the guys who do spell girl with a “B,” their mother is an exception. Same thing goes for other female relatives. And the women who hold a special place in their lives. So obviously, all can’t literally mean all. But even if we dismiss that as the obvious and limit the potential referents to women the dude could date, then what? And I’m asking that question from the perspective of that line from Dres. At what point does a person not have the right to define that which he sees? Think of it like this: (you’ll pardon the analogy, of course) there are two American snakes that are virtually identical, the coral snake and the king snake. Both have red, black, and yellow bands. The only way to distinguish them is to know the order in which the bands appear. That’s why I memorized the line, “red next to yellow will kill a fellow. Red next to black is a friend of jack.” Now me, since I’ve only seen either of those snakes behind glass (either on television or at the zoo), I have a different type of understanding than somebody who may have found out about red-next-to-yellow the hard way, but I do know that somebody, probably somebody who had seen red-and-yellow and lived to tell the tale, was able to differentiate and committed it to a rhyme. As well he should have. So if we kinda transfer the concept, I don’t think there’s anything intrinsically wrong with somebody saying “you gotta watch out,” which is how I see the “definition” records. Like with 2Pac. Is it Keep Ya Head Up, or is it Wonder Why They Call U Bitch? More than likely, it’s both.
Now, where I see a severe limitation is in the fact that there’s an oversaturation of the “definition” records. We know that every woman is not a bitch or a ho or a chickenhead or whatever. I would say that most aren’t. To some people. Like I said before, some of us know how to bring it out. Regardless of that, I think that in the same way that we feel there’s a certain lopsidedness in the portrayal of Black people in general in the media writ large, in hip-hop in particular, there’s a lopsidedness is in the portrayal of women. Granted, it could go back to the experience of the rappers, who may only know bitches and hoes (with the exception of their mothers), or it could be that they only write about them, leaving the nice girls they know unmentioned. I don’t know, but I wish it would stop.
Of course, if we take it a little further, I think there’s a whole lot of room to talk about the difference between what a person says and what they do. In other words, we’re quick to say that actions speak louder than words, so if a person says things using politically correct jargon but does things that we think are [insert your favorite]-ist, then we go by what they do. But if a person says the wrong thing but does the right thing, then what? I keep coming back to this point because the more I look, the more I think it’s being overlooked. At the beginning of this little piece, I pointed out that as people, we label people automatically. We take a few pieces of information that another person gives us and then we fill in the blanks on our own. Just as my commenter assumes that men who spell girl with a “B” consign all women to that category until proven otherwise, I think that most of us have our own pet categories where we put people “until proven otherwise.” But if it’s bad in one instance, it’s probably just as bad in another.
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