Bijan breaks out the old Jet magazine beauties. Misses September and December, 1953? Sir-yes SIR!
Sept 1953
Dec 1953
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Wild card weekend, and the operative word is ‘wild.’ Of course we’re gonna start with the last game. The Eagles, who mathematically shouldn’t even be in the playoffs, have advanced to the Divisional round against the Giants. We are now at the ‘anything can happen’ stage of the season. All the Eagles need is to get hot for the next three games. One at a time, though. And yeah, BB’s Chargers, like the Eagles, are fully resurrected and seem to be playing to their capabilities. Now what they’re gonna do against the Steelers is a tough question to answer. Indy got D, but they ain’t got D like PGH. The key here is Ben. If Ben plays well and allows the Stillers D to stay off the field for a while, they should win. Young Sproles is nasty, but he’s in for a pretty decent challenge. Ravens look like a tough out. I’m callin it here: I like the Ravens to win next week in Tennessee. Maybe the Tennessee defense gets to Flacco and makes a believer out of me, but if I hafta go with a D I can trust, it’s gonna be Balto. Carolina’s the scariest team in the NFC to me. They have a stingy defense, two good running backs, and a solid possession receiver to go along with their home run guy. Because of their aerial assault, the Cardinals have a puncher’s chance, but I wouldn’t put too much on their chances. UPDATE And to get it started, here’s Brotherbrown’s comments following last night’s game
They better keep that dude. Oh yeah. I dig Pam Oliver and all, but babygirl gotta do somethin about that weave. Any time your weave look like a weave from every direction…that joint is not what’s hot. The final Wha’chu Gon Play Now of the year will be the top songs of 2008. In most cases, they’re songs that got a lot of run over the course of the year. For the most part, if you look at my last.fm charts, you’ll see them among the top 15. Some of them, you won’t because I changed the tag on the song, so it comes up multiple times. On the EPMD song, for instance, tagged one way there are 98 listens. The other way, it’s like 96 or something. Because of that, the songs aren’t really listed in any order. The Trust Theory - Tonex. One of the gospel songs that really stuck with me throughout the year. Lovin’ It - Little Brother, f. Joe Scudda. This appropriately-titled song was major. I’m mad I slept on it for as long as I did, but I sure am glad I know it now. Help Me Believe - Kirk Franklin Another gospel song that got lots of run. Brother Sister - Brand New Heavies This is one of those songs from an album I’ve had a long, long time but never listened to. While I was doing something else, I just happened to let the song play, and then I heard the end of the song with those horn hits, and I was hooked. Do It Any Way You Wanna - People’s Choice Jammin disco. Jammin, I tell you. That bass line is ridiculous. Blame It On The Boogie - Mike was outta control. Funny thing is, I actually remember this song from when I was little, but it wasn’t a major hit. But when I heard it again as an adult, I was like…this is that action. 4th Chamber - Gza, f. Ghostface, Rza, and Killah Priest If you’ve been around these parts during the 4th quarter of the year, you know I’ve been running this song a lot. This is a near perfect example of winter hip-hop. Crown Royal - Jill Scott This was quite an unexpected song, but it got lots and lots of run. What helped its numbers immensely is the fact that it’s so short. I Know - Jay-Z This was the first song my homeboy asked about when he saw my Hov 15. He was like, “Where’s I Know?” Cuz everybody knows I run that song in the dirt. Truthfully, it was an oversight. Hip-Hop Is Dead - This one really started gettin run after the Rock The Bells concert. Nas performed it and my curiosity was piqued. A few dozen listens later, I was good to go. What exacerbated everything was the fact that I found the album for In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida. It was a wrap, at that point. Give The People (Erick and Parrish Remix) - This is probably my favorite EPMD song. That’s saying something. Well…let’s say it’s my favorite EPMD song with just Erick and Parrish. Misdemeanor - Ahmad Jamal While I like Foster Sylvers’ original version, I like Ahmad Jamal’s jazzified version better. Tricrotism - Lucky Thompson Trio Shout out to DJ Dollar Bill!! Let A Woman Be A Woman, Let A Man Be A Man - Dyke and the Blazers. Dyke is my mans ‘nem. Sounds a lot like James Brown and some of the other R&B/Soul groups of the era, but he had some great songs. This is one of em. Good Thing We’re Rappin - Digital Underground. This is my guilty pleasure for the year. The track is out of control, but the rap is about pimping. I do admit that I have a weakness for pimp stories, though. Not for the pimping so much as for the game. Cobb mentions the best $6 he may have ever spent. This year was definitely the worst 10. Well, maybe not THE worst, but definitely the worst of this year that doesn’t involve me getting beat for a shoddy product. About 6 months have passed, so I guess I can tell the story. Earlier this year, through a little miscommunication, a little selfishness, and more than a little bit of comic nerd-dom, I went to see Iron Man by myself, when I was supposed to see it with somebody. To make it up, I had to accompany her to a movie of her choosing. She chose Sex And The City. On opening night. Man, I ain’t even gon’ lie. That was more like being on an anthropological expedition than going to the movies. Them chicks was up in there gaspin and ooohin and cryin and whatnot. I was like…what? For instance, there was this scene when they showed a closet. An empty closet. I almost suffocated cuz all the oxygen was gone from them chicks gaspin at the same time. I was sittin up there like…for real? It gets even worse if you add in the parts of the plot that made absolutely no sense to me. Other people have tried to justify it, talmbout some “you hafta know the history of the characters,” but I’m like, naw. You don’t hafta know Iron Man the comic to enjoy Iron Man the movie. Yeah, there are things that a fanboy would know that a casual movie-goer wouldn’t, but those elements should heighten the fan’s experience, not be critical to make the picture make sense. It may not be theee worst $10, becuase it helped me get outta the dog house a little bit, but all things considered, i would’ve been WAY better off not dippin out and seeing Iron Man on the dolo. To recapitulate from 10-05: Just so you know, Rocky V never happened. It just didn’t, you hear me? It. Didn’t. Happen. I think Rocky IV happened, but I’m not sure. Maybe Apollo is dead, maybe he ain’t. But we KNOW that Rocky, under Apollo’s guidance, defeated Clubber Lang in his last fight as the heavyweight champ. That happened. Rocky III is, without question, my favorite of the series. Rocky is an excellent film, and it’s enjoyable as a movie too, but III hits that perfect range where it reaches its comic book potential without jumping the shark. Almost. There are a couple things that irritate me, like the issue of 10 title defenses in 3 years. So dude was fightin three times a year for the heavyweight belt? That, above everything else in this movie, is beyond my ability to suspend disbelief. The fact that Rocky’s knockin cats around the ring like a pinball machine? That’s stretchin it, but since we later find out that they’re hand-picked, I can live with it. But ten defenses? Nobody fights that much unless they’re dead broke. Then there’s that hug that Rocky and Apollo share that’s gotta be top 3 in the all-time awkard film moments. My last pet peeve is that at the Rocky shouldn’t be all cut until after Apollo gets done training him. Those little niggling things aside, there are a couple things I really like about III. The first is Apollo’s smarts. When he joked in Rocky that he should’ve retired and run for Emperor, he probably could’ve done it. As typified in III, what was there that he couldn’t do? He had already put himself at the top of the moneymaking pyramid in II by promoting the fight himself. That makes him Ali + (Don King - lack of scruples). THen in III, he ads a little Angelo Dundee to the mix by training Rocky for the fight. His only tragic flaw was that he was terminally hardheaded. (The right woman woulda fixed that up, though.)_ But the bottom line is that in III, as in all of the Rocky movies that count, Apollo was the smartest person on the screen. The other thing I loved about III was the notorious Clubber Lang. Mr. T. ain’t no thespian and nobody in their right mind should confuse him for one. The simple fact of the matter is, however, that he took the two-dimensional character, Clubber Lang, and made him breathe. I think a more accomplished actor may have been too busy trying to give the character depth to properly bring him alive. Rocky III is a comic book on film. A comic book is only as good as its villain, and Mr. T. as Clubber Lang was perfect. If you think about it, there are certain traits that a comic book villain is supposed to have. Clubber had all of ‘em. In spades. Mean. Tough. Strong. Ruthless. Indomitable. Almost. There has to be that one flaw the hero can exploit, but until that flaw is revealed, the hero’s quest must seem impossible. In this case, Clubber’s internal flaw was the same one that Rocky had to overcome. How bad was Clubber? Let’s review: - Knocked the dude down, pushed the ref out the way, then clocked dude again til he laid down flat. - Hit the one dude so hard he curled into a fetal position on the canvas and started suckin his thumb. - Pushed BOTH Rocky’s managers. And then there was the ultimate - he tried to holler at Adrian on the steps of the Art Museum. With everybody watching. For real though, who would’ve expected that? I’m sorry, that was pure genius. Not just that he said something to her, but that he addressed her as “woman.” You talkin about gully, it don’t GIT no gullier than this: Hey woman! Hey woman!! Listen here. Since your ole man ain’t got no hawwwt, maybe you’d like to see a real man. I bet you stay up late every night, wishin you had a real man, don’t you?. I’ll tell you what - bring your pretty li’l self over to my apartment tonight, and I’ll show you a real man. Now that’s classic. Classical, even. At some points, I have even been known to walk up on some female I know talmbout, “Hey woman!!” And that’s before we even get to the Clubber Lang one-liners! “No I don’t hate Balboa, but I pity the fool!” And the best/worst one of all, Clubber calls Rocky “nigga.” Think I’m lyin’, put your copy in and get to 47:29, after Clubber has knocked Rocky down. You tell me what you think he says. Of course, any discussion of a Rocky movie would be incomplete without looking at the racial elements. Most people with my background/transcript highlight the fact that Clubber Lang is a near-textbook example of one of the traditional stereotypes of Black men. There’s no getting around that. But I think there’s something that has to be acknowledged. Apollo. Yeah, we know that Apollo was a thinly-veiled imitation of Ali. But like I said up top, Apollo is also the smartest character in this picture. And yeah, it’s possible to read Apollo training Rocky as the usual “John the Baptist” move, but I think there’s another way to look at it. Apollo, the brain, uses Rocky, the body, to achieve his ends. He gets into contact with Rocky because he’s bored. He’s not particularly interested in fighting anymore himself, but he likes being around it, so he co-opts the one person to defeat him as a professional. This, then, becomes a win-win situation for Apollo. He gets to train and be in the gym around the fellas, but he doesn’t hafta take any punches. Then, there’s the financial aspect. As Rocky’s manager, Apollo gets a cut of Rocky’s money. As the fight promoter, Apollo gets a cut of the overall gate, and probably a cut from each fighter. He’s covered whether Rocky wins or loses. Obviously for hs own pride, he wants Rocky to win, but whether Rocky wins or loses, Apollo wins. And I think the character would have been aware of exactly that. So any critique on a racial basis should at least hafta account for this stuff. But that’s readin a little too deep. Like I said, III ain’t no film. It’s a movie. And it’s onea my favorites.
The dream is alive. And after all that…after the boycotts and the benching and the untimely losses and attempts to sabotage their own season, the Eagles have made the playoffs again. Making it sweeter is that it was at the expense of the Cowboys. Man, I cannot tell you how much better that makes it. It’s like a crazy multiplier bonus. Beating the Cowboys would’ve been sweet no matter what. But beating the Cowboys in a winner-takes-all game to make the playoffs? That’s hard to beat. Only thing better would be beating them in the NFC Championship game. But that ain’t gon happen. They’re gonna be on vacation. Stillers took out the Brownies, but I’m hoping that Ben’s okay. Even if he’s not, their backup could probably be starting for about 1/2 of the teams in the League. He played well against the R*s, one of the better defenses, so they should be okay. They need to get Tomlin a playoff win, though. Pennington > Favre. McNabb > Romo. Again. I wish we had gotten the feed for the game. Not just to see the Eagles thrash the Cowboys, but to see the cutaways to Jerry Jones’ face. And Wade Phillips. And Terrell Owens. This is exactly the game I wanted to see, only I was hoping Owens would’ve kirked off and slapped sombody. Other than that, this is the stuff of dreams. Should the Eagles pull off the upset next week, they’d travel to the Giants. But we’re in the 2nd season now. Anything can happen.
Jacked from Randy Haddock We all know that Rocky is my favorite movie franchise, for a whole bunch of reasons. But let’s throw out some what ifs and whatnot. Clubber Lang vs. Mike Tyson. That right there is a fight for the ages. No way it sees 15 rounds. Or 12. Might not even see six. Clubber Lang vs. Ivan Drago I’m puttin my money on Clubber. But only if it doesn’t go the distance. Clubber Lang vs. George Foreman I think George takes this one. I don’t know if it’s that Clubber’s chin was suspect or his conditioning. Really, he never had his chin tested. When he lost to Rocky, it was basically because he was tired, not because Rocky had really dropped him. Clubber Lang vs. Apollo Creed Creed. Apollo beat Clubber using Rocky as an implement. Doing it directly, Apollo would’ve either cruised to an easy victory or put him away, just like Rocky did, but maybe faster. Apollo Creed vs. Muhammad Ali. I don’t know. Styles make fights, but what happens when you have two dudes with the same style?
UPDATE I wasn’t planning on fooling with this thing today, but in addition to being Christmas Day, it’s also James Brown day. Because I’m not in a position to go to any of the JB commemorations in Philly, I’ma make one of my own. The songs I selected aren’t necessarily the most popular ones, but they’re songs I really, really like. In all cases except one, they’re also the full-length joint. You can hear the short versions on the radio. Santa Claus Chances are, I’m bout to take a few days’ hiatus. I’ll leave you with this Mark Twain quote: “I am the entire human race compacted together. I have found that there is no ingredient of the race which I do not possess in either a small way or a large way.” This is why, even though I have definite opinions on most issues, I recognize that they’re my opinions, based on my beliefs. That doesn’t necessarily mean that I don’t hold strongly to what I believe, but it does mean that I always allow room for me to be wrong, and even when I know I’m right, to understand where somebody from the other perspective is coming from. Merry Christmas and all that good stuff. Open some presents, eat some chitlins, and enjoy your loved ones. One. |
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